The journey is indeed not easy and I mean it. IT IS NOT EASY. Well, it has been more than a week that I have been on top of the mountain where I was rejuvenated and healed, but now the reality is closing in.
It was more than a week ago that I attended a camp. A camp which I have no intention to go because life is so damn busy in campus, a weekend gone means a lot of hours have been wasted. This camp was organized by CUS USM Minden. (For those who don’t know, CUS is Catholic Undergraduate Society). Ya…ya…it is a catholic camp and I guess some of them might be laughing at me. Somehow, I am glad that I made the right choice to go instead being stuck in campus and go mad.
The venue of the camp is in College General,Penang
. For the information of those who do not know about this place – it is a place where selected people are being trained to be fathers. Father as in a priest…hehehe. It was so peaceful there, love the atmosphere though it was not my first time there I still can fall in love with the place. Well, about 50+ participants joined the camp (I hope I got the figure right). Kinda a small scale camp, but I enjoyed the fellowship very much. The games and action songs that we did was very fun. Throughout the weekend I was laughing like nobody’s business and at one point I realize that this is the part of me that has been lost in the fast pace of life. (Well, I know some people may not agree with me about this…but laughing and being you is totally different from laughing while pretending to be someone else).
“Daring to be different” was the theme for the camp. Before coming to that camp, it meant nothing to me. After the camp, the realization of each individual is unique is even clearer. Being able to accept myself is the most integral part of life before I can accept others as who they are. I have been always comparing myself with other people all this while. Wondering why I am not like her or why I can’t do what he did and more things like that. For some people who are blessed with high self-esteem maybe this won’t be such a big problem. For me it is a problem but, thanks to the camp and especially thanks to Martin Jalleh for conducting the sessions wonderfully, slowly I have been able to realize the uniqueness in me that nobody has.
If people ask me, what is the one thing that I cannot forget and I should keep it forever in my memory…I should say the whole camp. But, if people insist me to be more specific, I would say the inner healing session. Well, frankly telling you all, I have never experience any charismatic activity before.
So, this inner healing session was the one I am really looking forward to. The experience is the best. I just could not describe the warmth that I felt towards the end of the session although at the beginning of the session I was very emotional and tears running down my cheeks. Everybody has their issues; almost everyone came with their brokenness and problems in life and by just being there in the room, I can strongly feel all that. This session really help to resolve the old issues and helped me to let go and move on. Prayers help to lift the burden and the hug after that was the BEST. It is just so hard to explain how a hug can mean so much especially from the one that you needed the most. By offering a hug to someone you can just feel that you helped them without uttering a single word. I remember hugging a friend after the session and she started to cry. Well, the Lord always works in mysterious ways.
At the end of the session, I felt so peaceful and at the same time tired of crying though…hahahaha. Swollen eyes, red nose…aiyo.
And now, it is more than one week after all that. As I said reality is closing in and there are times when I fall and felt defeated because the journey down the mountain is NOT easy. But, I guess the camp’s effect on me is greater than I thought. It really made a difference and not only that if I ever felt low at some point of my life; I know where to turn to.
(The affirmation messages that each one of us collected in an envelope throughout the camp also did the magic for me)
Boo-boo and my bruised arm. I have been abused…hehe..I am totally lying. That was the result of playing Paintball. I have been walking around with the bruise on my hand and it really caught people’s attention. Ramai will ask "What happen to ur hand?"… I feel like telling them I am a victim of abuse…akakaka..but in then I’ll just say -"Paintball". Then start la the Q n A session. Some people just can’t believe what the paintball pellets can do for you…Well, for those who dunno what paintball is try this link, maybe it will help to solve your blurness..Pay attention more on the safety part.
